Alcohol Warnings
- WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
- WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an fool.
- WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and
over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
- WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
- WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying
for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
- WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what on earth happened to your
pants.
- WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
- WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the
forehead.
- WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer
and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
- . WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
- . WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
- . WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum,
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.
- . WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
